Notes to our Patrons, no.1

In Uncategorized on August 12, 2009 at 10:13 pm

Dear Patron,

I didn’t see you come in today, but my boss warned me not to come out of the office because she’d already spotted you. I’m quite certain that you wanted more help with your novel, but as I told you before I’m not helping you out. Can you not see that everyone is running away from you? Or are you so conceited and self absorbed in writing your “spiritual revelation” novel, that you dont see that your annoying the h**l out of all of us?

The first time you came in, I was accommodating. I did my best to provide quality customer service, aside from the fact that you were standing way to close and your breath was smelling like a trashmans glove. You asked whether I could locate some images on the internet for you, and I did. Even going as far as to print them in color so that you would think that I was super nice and would eventually leave me alone. Guess the smile made you believe that I wanted more from you, since (after ten minutes) you came back asking personal questions like you had a right too.

That was weeks (and various other encounters) ago, and now I feel as though I must confess that your getting on my d**m nerves. Do you really expect me to believe that your writing something that is going to be the next “big thing”, when you cant even figure to add three hours onto the time that you checked out a laptop so that you can get it back in time not to get fined? And are you expecting to market this book as juvenile literature? Because, contrary to what you have been told, only childrens books have pictures on EVERY PAGE!

Mind you, I’m all for customer service, but I really hate to see you come in. Your like diarrhea. I dread it when I feel like Im going to have an encounter, but feel amazing when your finally out of my system. There’s a reason why there aren’t any staff members or librarians around when we see you and you groundbeef beard walk in. We are sick of you. Tired of you trying to guilt and annoy us into helping you. Tired of having to come up with different and more creative ways of avoiding you. Using up energy that could otherwise be devoted to helping patrons with real issues and real problems. So, on my behalf and the behalf of all those who work at reference, we would like to say to you…

Get a life.



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